Another thing on the list of Life's Not Fair

[joeychen]

Well, my cousin (my cousin's cousin actually, he and his wife live near us) called me today to let me know that they had both been laid off. He's a Phd Biochemist, and she was the office manager at their US office (it's an Australian company). So they have given him a 30 day contract to wrap things up, then they will probably move back to Aust, as finding another job here, or in Europe, and getting visas etc does not look likely.
So that sucked, I liked having some 'family' here, other then Mum, Dad and my sis.
So I called Mr jo to let him know, and that bummed him out :(
Then I called my Mum to let her know, and we chatted a bit. I hadn't called her in almost a week! And I haven't seen her since Xmas.
She always sounds tired cause of the drugs she's on, she talked a bit about how she'll have her first scans in mid-April out in Houston, to see if this treatment is working or not, and to see what the tumours have been doing. But she sounded so down and negative about it. I wasn't sure what to say.
I called Dad next, and told him about the layoff news, and he mentioned an academic in PA that is doing work that might interest my cousin. I asked him about Mum, and he said that she is getting really depressed, and that Katy and I should call more often as that would help and I agreed. I talked about how I wanted to fly down soon. We talked about which airport would be best etc.
Once I got back into the office (I had been at the Chiropractor) I checked into fares, and got one for April 4-6 flying into Carlsbad airport at great times (and not too bad a price for only 7 days advance notice) I called Mum to let her know, and she sounded really happy that I would be coming down, which was great. I suggested that we go to a nearby Botanical park for a walk etc, and hopefully we'll do something else fun, and non-tiring.
So, the Life's Not Fair thing. And I know that there are *so* many things in life that aren't fair, war, third world economic d'ment (well, lack thereof) etc etc. But, this is my personal, hated Life's Not Fair thing.
My mother is dying of cancer, I hate it.
It FUCKING SUCKS!
I hadn't been down about it in quite a while, but it really seems to have hit me today. I had been kinda not thinking about it before. Which I'm OK with. I can't think about it all the time, it would drive me nuts.
But I hate it. She was diagnosed with Kidney cancer (which is particularly nasty and lethal of course) Jan 02. So she's actually doing really well so far in the scheme of kidney cancer longevity. But she's stage IV, it's spread, in her lungs, was in the liver (surgery #2 to remove that tumour). If we're lucky she'll be with us another year or two or three.
She's only 55.
And we all thought it would be the family heart trouble that would get her. Ha, we wish!

Comments

[dazzlynn.livejournal.com]

Ah, Jo, I don't know what to say. I feel for you and hope you are doing well.

:X

[resurgam.livejournal.com]

jo, i think going to see her is a great idea! i know it will be a stress in every way- emotionally, financially, etc, but i think the only thing you can do is include her in your life as much as possible for as long as you can. and be there for your dad and your sister.

you're all in my prayers!

[charlotterusse.livejournal.com]

hey. my dad's 55, too, and it doesn't look like he'll be around much longer. i can't imagine how difficult it must be to not be close by. i hope you're able to get down there soon.

[joeychen.livejournal.com]

Thanks guys. I'm glad I have the ticket. We're going to drive down for Memorial weekend too I think.
Luckily it's not a financial issue, which I am thankful for.
Hugs to you charlotterusse, I hope you are nice and close to your folks. This was tougher when my sis lived in Boston, but now she is in LA, closer then me now!

[queen-puff-puff.livejournal.com]

aw Jo, I'm sorry. I really do understand.

[emily-hahn.livejournal.com]

Oh jo I just read both you and q_p_p's posts about your parents, so just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you both. I'll be spending the next few days w/my dad while he has his surgery and then looking after him w/my mother once he's out of the hospital and I know that it means a lot to him having me around (that and the Pogo comic books I've been getting for him to read). So best to both you and your family -- I'll be thinking of you.

[joeychen.livejournal.com]

Thinking of you and your Dad too Sweetie!
It's kinda a sucky way to bring the family closer together isnt' it!

[queen-puff-puff.livejournal.com]

man, the three of us should start our own support group.

[applehangover.livejournal.com]

I want to be in the support group too.

I lost my dad on Jan. 5, 2000. And it sucks. Everyday.

I am so glad that when he was really sick, my boss was great and let me have as much time as I needed. I went and saw him almost every day and I'm so glad that I did. I know everything was ok between us, and I have good memeories to look back on.

My sister was not so lucky. She and my dad were both stubborn, and wouldn't talk to each other any more. Just stupid. So she never got to resolve anything with him, and she regrets it all the time. She is having a much harder time than I am, I think.

So yeah, go spend time with those parents. They were there for you. Now you get to do something for them. You will be glad you did. Don't be like my sister. :(

the three of us should start our own support group

[emily-hahn.livejournal.com]

No kidding - these things always seem to come in threes don't they? But if we start a support group, do we get a "circle of truth" like in "About a Boy?"

Re: the three of us should start our own support group

[scarletwench.livejournal.com]

Can I join the support group? Been helping my guy through this.

Jo, am SO sorry about your mom. *Hugs and more hugs*

[windup.livejournal.com]

oh, i'm sorry to hear about your mom... i'm glad you'll be able to spend more time with your family next weekend, though. xoxo.

[alineskirt.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry, Jo. Good for you for making a way to visit as soon as you can. My mother had ovarian cancer for 3 years, it recurred after another year, and she is now in remission. It was a complete nightmare, I just walked around trying to get from point A to point B thinking "my mother is dying," like a zombie. My mom still has terrible health problems, and I still feel like the shadow is over us. All we can do is try to have faith, I guess. I'm keeping your family in my thoughts & in my heart.

Giving your mom the gift of your presence and attention is the best thing for her, I'm sure. You are such a giving, generous, wonderful person, I'm sure you have made her month with your surprise visit. I am also so glad you have the wonderful Mr. Jo & your family to support you. xoxoxo!!

lots of love,
susan

[zylle-blue.livejournal.com]

I know that you're down and I think the only thing I can say is that it's wonderful that your mom has such loving family to support her. I know that a lot of times, people get neglected, or choose to not share their pain with others. Your family is very lucky (in that aspect, I mean) :)

[anmeikitty.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about your mom, Jo. Your family is in my thoughts.

I hope you have a wonderful visit next week!

[blue-lotus.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about your mom, jo. Thinking of you.

[astronautical.livejournal.com]

jo + other girls, I'm so very sorry. I'm thinking of you -

[wright.livejournal.com]

So so sorry to hear about this. I'm glad you'll get to see her soon, and give her lots of hugs. I bet you both can use them.
Power to you and Mr. Jo.
xoxo

[pot-t-mouth.livejournal.com]

Love to all of 3 of you girls and your parents.